-Nikki Bridges-

Urban Mysticism

Reiki Healing and Gem & Flower Essences

 
Be the Light You Wish to See...
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Lost, but Nowhere to be Found...

September 1, 2016

When tragedy strikes, people really do want to help.  To offer some words of comfort, or wisdom, from their own experiences.  Sometimes those words help, and are just the thing you need to get through it.  And, sometimes those words rip the wound open before it can even start to heal. When I had a miscarriage, there were many people that wanted to help me, and offer anything they could.  And, for that I will always be thankful.  I couldn't have gotten through any of it, without those people, and their constant support.  But, some people, without even knowing they were hurting me, said things like, "I'm sorry you lost your baby."  And, to this I say, "I didn't lose her."  She isn't on the desk, with my keys and phone.  I haven't misplaced her, only to find her later when I retrace my steps.  I'm not gonna come home later, and see her sitting on the bed with my watch.  It's such a common phrase, that it's even used by many women that have had miscarriages.  But, when you really dissect it, you realize how insensitive it is, and how it somehow implies that it was the Mother's fault.  That, she is responsible for this horrific experience.   A miscarriage is something that NO ONE can prepare you for. The pain and helplessness runs so deeply, that it cuts straight through to your Soul. I've experienced the passing of many people in my life, family members, friends and pets.  And yet, none of it could prepare me for what "losing" my baby would feel like. I wish it had of been as simple as waking up one day to find she was no longer there.  But, because Mother Nature, and the human body don't operate that way, it was much more intense.  I've read many blogs, posts, self help books, and message boards on the subject, and I am definitely not alone in this.  The physical trauma is certainly not the worst, but doesn't help. I myself had to be hospitalized, and went through the process both naturally, and with the assistance of a DNC. The whole thing took 3 days from start to finish, and those 3 days forever changed me.  If I had the chance to turn back time, and stop it from happening, I would in a heartbeat.  But, what this experience taught me, is that no matter how hard we want to control things, in the end, it really is out of our hands.  Whether you believe in a higher power, or not.  As humans, we can only control as much as we can, and the rest is left to the Universe, Higher Power, or Fate.  Our predestined paths have been mapped out in advance.  We can work as hard as we can, infuse as much love, light and energy into every situation, and still, at the end of the day, we have to Let Go, and Let God, or whatever Deity you believe in.  The point is, some things are just out of our hands, and the outcome has a greater purpose than we can know.  At least while we're going through it.  What I have also learned, is that people just want to stop those they love from experiencing such pain and sorrow.  And, because of that, we eventually find peace, and the light at the end of the dark tunnel.  Even when we can't stop bad things from happening, at least we have one another to get through it together.  So, the next time advice may not be the best, or the most sensitive to the situation, I will try to remember that we are all human, and just trying to heal one another.  And, that makes all the difference in the world...  Much Love and Light to You ALL

 

 

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